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The Online Mom provides internet technology advice and information to help parents protect their kids, encourage responsible behavior and safely harness the power of technology in the new digital world. Social networking, photo sharing, video games, IM & texting, internet security, cyberbullying, educational resources, the latest on tech hardware, gadgets and software for kids 3-8, tweens and teens, and more.
Sadly, thanks to the Internet and other modern technologies, kids have powerful
ways to make each other miserable. For kids who may not have fully developed the
of morality and empathy that grownups are supposed to have (but don't always!),
Internet can make meanness far too tempting. On the Internet, you're not
front of the person you're hurting. You can do it from a distance - perhaps along with a
group of kids egging each other on to ever-higher levels of rottenness.
Cyberbullying takes all too many forms. Kids send each other nasty messages...
each other on social networking sites, blogs, and public web sites... post embarrassing
revealing pictures of other kids... forward emails that were intended to be private...
rumors and accusations... impersonate their victims and start fights with others...
name it, it's happened. The question is: what can you as a parent do to
prevent it, stop it,
or limit the damage it does to your child. Here are our recommendations:
Give your child practical guidelines for how to deal with conflicts and cyberbullying
online. For example, teach the "Stop, Block, and Tell" method:
Make sure your child never, ever shares a password or other personal identification
that could allow a cyberbully to impersonate them.
- Stop what you're doing and take a deep breath: do not
answer or get into an argument online
- Block the person who's harassing you - or example, using
your IM service's blocking feature
- Tell a parent or another adult you trust
Google your kids. If someone's posting derogatory information about your
child on a
public web site, you need to know about it - and the Google search engine
If you find your child is being cyberbullied, support your child. Don't
blame them for
being cyberbullied, and don't ignore it as harmless. Let them know you
know it hurts.
But try not to overreact: your child may be afraid of involving you because he
or she is afraid you'll blow a gasket and make things even worse.
Do tell your child's school guidance counselor, so he or she can
keep an eye on your
child's emotional state and interactions with fellow students. There's
only so much a
school can do about "free speech" happening outside the school's
walls. But you can
and should expect your child's school to educate children on cyberbullying
strongly against it wherever they do have authority: for instance, on
the grounds, and
on their own computers.
If the cyberbullying involves threats of physical violence, an immediate and strong
reaction is needed: tell your local police. Bring printouts of the threats in
But be aware that these printouts aren't by themselves sufficient proof
for the police
to charge a crime, if that becomes necessary. The police will need to carefully
their own evidence and trace its source - and that needs to be done quickly,
evidence is routinely deleted. Not all police departments know how to track cyber-harassers. If they need help, a volunteer organization, WiredSafety.org,
available to assist at no charge.
Don't forget that for every cyberbullied child, there's also a cyberbully - and most
cyberbullies don't see themselves that way. They think what they're
harmless. Make sure your child knows what cyberbullying is, and that you won't
tolerate them doing it. Treating others with respect should be the first
ground rule for
the privilege of having Internet access, IM accounts, a MySpace
page, email, or a